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You know sometimes it’s really easy to dismiss something as being filled with half-baked theories stolen from psychoanalysis and presented as a confusing sort of mish-mash of ideas without reason or resolution? And yet it still turns out to be on the whole Quite Good. Read on…
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Imagine using LinkedIn as a dating app. Imagine using LinkedIn, full stop… Read on…
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It’s no wonder my generation grew up in ignorance when the only periods we learned about at school were the Jurassic, Triassic and Pre-Cambrian. Read on…
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I’m imagining a zombie/musical crossover called ’28 Bars Later’ with the soundtrack provided by The Walking Deadmau5. Read on…
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To have a Cat is to navigate a world of unspoken rules. One minute you’re petting them; the next, you’re a pile of dismembered limbs. Read on…
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Flash fiction, based on the concept of ‘sky burial’. Read on…
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The video for “Louise” involves a canal boat, a car crash, and some grammatically-inept notes, which seem to have nothing to do with the song. Read on…
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Florence Nightingale, Dawn French off the telly, a singing ghost and a mysterious music shop. Even for Kate Bush, this one’s a bit nuts. Read on…
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Did you know that that David Fincher directed this video? Did you know it was even a single? Well, there are reasons why you didn’t… Read on…
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This video is so 1980s it hurts (in a neon-dystopia kind of way). Read on…
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It’s a poem about pretentious poems that are just badly written, badly punctuated prose with unnecessary line breaks. Read on…
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Who’s stupid enough to review music videos in the same way as football and cricket matches? Well, me, apparently. Read on…
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A bacteriologist is abducted by Amazon Service Representatives after she stumbles on the hidden meaning of Christmas. Read on…
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I don’t need to see the Cat misbehaving to know that the Cat is misbehaving. Read on…
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Being a comment on the reaction in certain quarters to Amazon Prime Video’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power”. Read on…
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Just about the queerest poem I’ve written… and yet, also, not Read on…
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In the midst of a post-Brexit civil war, a sniper from the Remainer armies comes face to face with an enemy beyond comprehension. Read on…
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Actually, maybe this one is the queerest poem I’ve ever written? Read on…
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This is my attempt, based on an averagely true story, at a true crime/romcom/poetry crossover. Read on…
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Nope, it’s this one. This one is positively, definitely and absolutely the queerest poem I’ve ever written, I think. Read on…
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It started out as a funny poem and then it took this sad turn that I wasn’t expecting. Poems can do that. Read on…
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True story: there’s no such theory as “Flat Earth”. There are dozens of contradictory theories and none of them are as believable as Terry Pratchett. Read on…
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No is writing funny poetry (especially me);why does everyone have to be so bloody earnest? Read on…
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It’s short; it’s a poem, arguably; and it’s about Tinder. What more did you expect? Read on…
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Not glamorous enough for drag queen status, but perfectly suited to be a drag librarian. Read on…
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Can’t believe I managed to get both Prince and Google Sheets nerdery into one post. Read on…
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A surprisingly true poem about Christmas 1984, set to a Pet Shop Boys soundtrack. Read on…
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Here’s another poem inspired by true events (I really did go to a Facebook Group Organised, Council Subsidised, Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop). Read on…