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The revolution will begin at school
Actually, maybe this one is the queerest poem I’ve ever written?
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There were only seven chicken meatballs in my pack of eight
This is my attempt, based on an averagely true story, at a true crime/romcom/poetry crossover.
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Growing up “gay” (with the “gay” in air quotes)
Nope, it’s this one. This one is positively, definitely and absolutely the queerest poem I’ve ever written, I think.
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An evening reading poems to my Cat
It started out as a funny poem and then it took this sad turn that I wasn’t expecting. Poems can do that.
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Eratosthenes would have been so disappointed in you
True story: there’s no such theory as “Flat Earth”. There are dozens of contradictory theories and none of them are as believable as Terry Pratchett.
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Auditioning for The Cure
No is writing funny poetry (especially me);why does everyone have to be so bloody earnest?
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A short poem about Tinder
It’s short; it’s a poem, arguably; and it’s about Tinder. What more did you expect?
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A drag librarian
Not glamorous enough for drag queen status, but perfectly suited to be a drag librarian.
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Lockdown bonus jams
Can’t believe I managed to get both Prince and Google Sheets nerdery into one post.
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12″ Japanese Import
A surprisingly true poem about Christmas 1984, set to a Pet Shop Boys soundtrack.
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The Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues
Here’s another poem inspired by true events (I really did go to a Facebook Group Organised, Council Subsidised, Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop).
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Sandwich fillings: an elegy
The one poem I have that can legitimately described as ‘award-winning’. Because I won an award for it.
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Litotes
How do I put it… “Inspired by ‘Faint Praise’ by Wendy Cope” is probably the diplomatic thing I can say.
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Find the value of X, and why
I wrote this poem because I was pleased at coming up with the title. The poem wasn’t as good as I thought the title was.
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Epistrophe
“The poem captures the unique challenges of lockdown life” according to the AI blurb written by Wordpress.
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Closing the front door gently behind me, I entered his living room and took stock of everything
I don’t usually write serious or sentimental poetry; it doesn’t sit well with me.
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A poem for Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017.
This is a poem inspired by Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017. Really.
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What’s the difference between enjambment and caesura
This is a poem in my own format, the decimal sonnet – 10 lines of 10 syllables with little attention paid to rhyme and meter.
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Adynaton
It’s the poem featuring Steven Seagal, Smeagol and Stegosaurus that you never knew you didn’t need.
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