Tag: Poems

• Line breaks

  Mar 9

  It’s a poem about pretentious poems that are just badly written, badly punctuated prose with unnecessary line breaks. more ›

• On the perils of being a cat owner whilst working from home for extended periods

  Dec 7

  I don’t need to see the Cat misbehaving to know that the Cat is misbehaving. more ›

• Elves, dwarves and trolls

  Dec 4

  Being a comment on the reaction in certain quarters to Amazon Prime Video’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power”. more ›

• It’s okay to just wear “clothes”

  Dec 1

  Just about the queerest poem I’ve written… and yet, also, not more ›

• The revolution will begin at school

  Nov 20

  Actually, maybe this one is the queerest poem I’ve ever written? more ›

• There were only seven chicken meatballs in my pack of eight

  Nov 13

  This is my attempt, based on an averagely true story, at a true crime/romcom/poetry crossover. more ›

• Growing up “gay” (with the “gay” in air quotes)

  Nov 7

  Nope, it’s this one. This one is positively, definitely and absolutely the queerest poem I’ve ever written, I think. more ›

• An evening reading poems to my Cat

  Nov 6

  It started out as a funny poem and then it took this sad turn that I wasn’t expecting. Poems can do that. more ›

• Eratosthenes would have been so disappointed in you

  Nov 5

  True story: there’s no such theory as “Flat Earth”. There are dozens of contradictory theories and none of them are as believable as Terry Pratchett. more ›

• Auditioning for The Cure

  Nov 4

  No is writing funny poetry (especially me);why does everyone have to be so bloody earnest? more ›

• A short poem about Tinder

  Nov 3

  It’s short; it’s a poem, arguably; and it’s about Tinder. What more did you expect? more ›

• A drag librarian

  Nov 2

  Not glamorous enough for drag queen status, but perfectly suited to be a drag librarian. more ›

• Lockdown bonus jams

  Nov 1

  Can’t believe I managed to get both Prince and Google Sheets nerdery into one post. more ›

• 12″ Japanese Import

  Nov 1

  A surprisingly true poem about Christmas 1984, set to a Pet Shop Boys soundtrack. more ›

• The Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

  Nov 1

  Here’s another poem inspired by true events (I really did go to a Facebook Group Organised, Council Subsidised, Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop). more ›

• Sandwich fillings: an elegy

  Oct 30

  The one poem I have that can legitimately described as ‘award-winning’. Because I won an award for it. more ›

• Litotes

  Oct 30

  How do I put it… “Inspired by ‘Faint Praise’ by Wendy Cope” is probably the diplomatic thing I can say. more ›

• Find the value of X, and why

  Oct 30

  I wrote this poem because I was pleased at coming up with the title. The poem wasn’t as good as I thought the title was. more ›

• Epistrophe

  Oct 30

  “The poem captures the unique challenges of lockdown life” according to the AI blurb written by Wordpress. more ›

• Closing the front door gently behind me, I entered his living room and took stock of everything

  Oct 30

  I don’t usually write serious or sentimental poetry; it doesn’t sit well with me. more ›

• Anxiety is… (part one)

  Oct 29

  My one attempt at a list poem. Don’t worry, there won’t be a sequel. more ›

• A poem for Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017.

  Oct 29

  This is a poem inspired by Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017. Really. more ›

• What’s the difference between enjambment and caesura

  Oct 29

  This is a poem in my own format, the decimal sonnet – 10 lines of 10 syllables with little attention paid to rhyme and meter. more ›

• Adynaton

  Oct 29

  It’s the poem featuring Steven Seagal, Smeagol and Stegosaurus that you never knew you didn’t need. more ›

• No, I really don’t care what Gail wrote on Facebook

  Oct 29

  Inspired by a conversation on the train which was shared with the whole (quiet) carriage; fragments of a one-sided conversation. more ›

• I tried not to but

  Oct 29

  My apology for starting to write poetry again. more ›