It's a Queer Old Blog...

Welcome! I’m nonbinary, I’m 55 years old, and this is where I write online. It’s a queer, old blog – get it?

I’m a carbon-based nonbinary biped and my pronouns are he/they. I was born at a very early age in Chesterfield, home of wonky wonder The Crooked Spire, but raised mostly in books.

I write things (mainly words), I take photos (but not that often now), I make mixtapes, and loads of other things, all with varying degrees of lack of success. Sometimes I write about them here.

Sandwich fillings: an elegy

The one poem I have that can legitimately described as ‘award-winning’. Because I won an award for it. Read on…
Litotes

How do I put it… “Inspired by ‘Faint Praise’ by Wendy Cope” is probably the diplomatic thing I can say. Read on…
Find the value of X, and why

I wrote this poem because I was pleased at coming up with the title. The poem wasn’t as good as I thought the title was. Read on…
Epistrophe

“The poem captures the unique challenges of lockdown life” according to the AI blurb written by Wordpress. Read on…
Closing the front door gently behind me, I entered his living room and took stock of everything

I don’t usually write serious or sentimental poetry; it doesn’t sit well with me. Read on…
Anxiety is… (part one)

My one attempt at a list poem. Don’t worry, there won’t be a sequel. Read on…
A poem for Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017.

This is a poem inspired by Matt Abbott on the occasion of his appearance at Off The Shelf literary festival in Sheffield, October 2017. Really. Read on…
What’s the difference between enjambment and caesura

This is a poem in my own format, the decimal sonnet – 10 lines of 10 syllables with little attention paid to rhyme and meter. Read on…
Adynaton

It’s the poem featuring Steven Seagal, Smeagol and Stegosaurus that you never knew you didn’t need. Read on…
No, I really don’t care what Gail wrote on Facebook

Inspired by a conversation on the train which was shared with the whole (quiet) carriage; fragments of a one-sided conversation. Read on…
I tried not to but

My apology for starting to write poetry again. Read on…
Review: Dragman, by Steven Appleby

Funny, sad, touching, triggering, endearing and heartwarming, and that’s just the cover. Read it, now. Read on…
Review: Bravehearts: Men in Skirts, by Andrew Bolton

PSA: this is not a book about one of the most historically inaccurate films of modern times. But if you’re interested in the history of men wearing skirts, on the other hand… Read on…
Review: Bi, by Dr Julia Shaw

NB: the bi prefix in ‘bisexual’ relates to ‘same gender’ and ‘other gender’. It does not mean ‘men’ and ‘women’. Here endeth the lesson. Read on…
Last night a journal saved my life

Mine and Adrian Mole’s birthdays are a few months apart and I have always felt a kinship to him, quite apart from being the only person who recognises Adrian as the greatest poet in the English language. Read on…
Photography 101: High key photography

Net curtains optional. Read on…
Photography 101: ISO numbers – how smooth do you want your photos?

ISO speeds need a slightly longer explanation and a lot of comparison talk about analogue/film cameras plus some peanut butter chat but bear with me, it’s all useful. Read on…
Photography 101: Aperture – how much of your photo should be in focus?

This is the second in my ‘Photography 101’ series. We learn how to limit (or increase) the amount of light going through the diaphragm by adjusting the aperture. Read on…
Photography 101: Shutter speed – how much movement do you want in your photos?

Shutter speed is the easiest of the concepts to understand, but in my humble opinion it’s the most powerful. When I take an image, I set the ISO number and the aperture and then mess with the shutter speed to get the effect I want. Read on…
Some thoughts on reviews

Once upon a time, I was thinking about writing a review of Taylor Swift’s ‘1989’. Not for any particular reason, just because I thought it was a good record w; I like pop music; I like writing things; and, statistically, at least one of my six regular blog readers will be a Taylor Swift fanatic. Read on…